THE DEBUT....

First and foremost, a HUGE thank you to everyone who's mailed me this week. I hope you'll have as much fun reading as I've had creating....

Again, if you have any juice, dish or general gab that you'd like to pass along - send it my way! The good, bad and ugly - send it all - I can handle the truth - I'm a 'big' boy ;-)

If you think anyone else might be interested in my page - pass the link along or have them e-mail me their address at:

pauledwardsmith@gmail.com

...and I can add them to my mailing list.

Before I jump into the 'debut' of the STRUT segment - I had a few e-mails this week asking me if I had recently taken up the sport of skiing (in light of my prolonged trip to Blue Mountain last weekend)?

The answer: Hell nooooo!

My idea of skiing is hobbling into the chalet with my fake cast and positioning myself close enough to the bar to take a full inventory but far enough away that the hot waitor is forced to pay me regular visits throughout the afternoon.

Being 6'4", skiing really isn't my sport. I'm too damn gangly. I tried it once - it was an absolute DISASTER. There was a little hill near my hometown (most refer to it as the "Byron Bump") but I tend to exagerate it's actual size for the sake of my pride. Anyway, I wanted to give it a shot - so my dear friend Paula took me one cold, January afternoon - to "show me the ropes". I decided to observe her first run down the hill before I dove in. So, she hops on the lift and moments later I see her pink ski outfit gracefully maneuvering down the hill - her brown locks flowing in the wind. She even managed to execute one of those "side-stops" at the bottom of the hill, where the snow flies in the air and the crowd is left staring in amazement. (If you know Paula - you can totally picture this, can't you?)

I thought - if this bitch can do it, I can do it.

(Uhhh, not so much).

So, I get in line to have this "pully-type" mechanism assist me up the bump....I mean, hill. I seem to actually be doing OK and then, just as I almost reach the top - I let go a moment too soon, lose my balance and fall backwards - taking out three kids (yes, kids) behind me. Frustrated, but mostly embarassed, I threw the skis and cursed all the way back to the car - leaving Paula pissing her pants with laughter on the "Byron Bump".

(She wasn't laughing so much when I went burning out of the parking lot in her car to the nearest McDonald's drive-thru ;-)

So, long story short - no, no skiing last weekend. I was actually north-bound to attend a 'surprise' engagement party (and to obviously add some 'flava' to the night's festivities).

And on that note, CONGRATS to Stu and Rhonda....you both looked great!

I would also like to send out some Birthday Wishes:

Carrie G. (I hope you had a good one! What are you now, by the way? 38? 39?)

Natalie I. (I KNOW you had a good one. Considering the places we usually run into each other - I suspect your party was filled with homos in hot pink booty shorts and endless amounts of Apple Sour-Puss)

and finally....a HUGE 'Happy Birthday' to me mum! I hope your day is FAB-U-LOUS!

OK - enough.

Let's get down to business.....what you've been waiting for. The debut of.....


STRUTTIN' WITH SMITH
________________________________________________________

This is a column that will be posted every Friday. I'm not exactly sure what form this will take - I'll have to play with it for the first couple of weeks until I get into my groove - so please, bear with me. For now, we'll focus on the important stuff: celeb dish, fads, trends, my fave things, star-sightings, 'What's Happening' in the Toronto scene....the basic essentials to master your STRUT!

THE STARS STRUT TO...

• Anne Hathaway (sporting new bangs) and Debra Messing (quote/unquote "stunning") at the final "Project Runway 2" fashion show in Bryant Park (10:16 am, Friday February 10th, NYC)
• Ryan Phillippe enjoying the luxury and comfort of sofas at Lobby (Toronto)
• Samuel L. Jackson chilling out at the Four Seasons Hotel (NYC, last weekend)

IN THE KNOW...

WHAT TO EAT: Fiesta Salad from The Lettuce Eatery (www.lettuceatery.com)

WHAT TO MOVIE: Date Movie (www.datemoviethemovie.com) - Opens February 17th.

WHAT TO TV: MTV's "There and Back" (http://www.mtv.com/onair/dyn/there_and_back/series.jhtml)

WHAT TO DVD: The Final Season of "Six Feet Under" (Season 6) - Available March 28th (Pre-order NOW - for those who haven't seen it yet - definitely the best show on TV - the final episode still gives me chills)

WHAT'S ON m(i)Pod: 'Watchin' - Freemasons ft. Amanda Wilson

WHAT TO PICK-UP: The newest issue of Vanity Fair (I never thought I'd recommend anything with Kiera Knighley on the cover - because, well, I think she's an asshole) but I'll let it slip this time. Tom Ford's as hot as ever - and who could resist Scar Jo's 'juicy' bottom.

For the Guys (Special Edition):

MUST HAVE FOR SPRING: Black Leather Motorcycle Jacket (slightly worn look)
WHAT TO SHOE: Cowboy Boots (they're baaaaack - thanks to the chaps from Brokeback)
WHAT 'NOT' TO SHOE: Flip-Flops (someone needs to tell those Hollister boys that it's still winter)
WHAT TO WEAR: Vintage Suit Vest (but NOT with the matching suit jacket!)
WHAT TO HAIR: Fitted Baseball Cap (while you're growing it out)
WHAT TO ACCESSORY: Tie Pin (bigger and flashier - the better)
WHAT TO KEEP AN EYE OUT FOR: Peeping Tinas in the Men's Restroom (caught in the clubs of NYC and LA) - see below



CHECK IT OUT!

ABSOLUTE BRILLIANCE: Julian Beever is an English artist who's famous for his art on the pavement of England, France, Germany, USA, Australia and Belgium. Beever gives to his drawings an amazing 3D illusion - see below.




THIS WEEK'S CRUSH: Daniel Vosovic (from Project Runway 2)
http://www.bravotv.com/Project_Runway_2/Bios/Designers/Daniel_V/


BREAKING NEWS: On yesterday's "Ellen", Madonna leaked that she will be starting another world tour this summer. (Dates and cities still to be confirmed - keep your ears to the ground)!


MIND-BOGGLING: This game is so addictive....I can't get passed LEVEL 3. http://www.winterrowd.com/maze.swf
Good luck.


WUZ HAPPENIN':

WHERE TO EAT: ki - 181 Bay Street - BCE Place - Toronto

ki is a modern Japanese restaurant & bar, offering a contemporary menu of Sushi, Japanese small plates, & fabulous shared entrees. A brilliant, cutting edge design incorporates a high profile bar & lounge area, 2 raised dining rooms & Toronto's most dynamic Sushi Bar. ki also offers 3 dramatic private dining areas for groups of 8 to 30 guests. My sources tell me that over $14 million dollars was put into the renovation.


DATE-LESS ON V-DAY??
February 14 @ The Boat - 158 Augusta St. (Kensington Market)
"Fuck Valentine's Day" Karaoke Party
(Remixes provided by Dick Suck Charlie)


THE ROUGE PARTY
February 23 @ the National Trade Centre, CNE - 7 to 11pm

This red-hot party will be sizzling with style, great food and the largest wine-tasting event of the year from Wines of France. Local restaurants Doku, Lobby, Ultra Supperclub and Blowfish, among many others, are set to serve up fabulous delicacies. Design innovator Karim Rashid unveils his newest creation, Kit 24, and Designers of the Year, II BY IV Design Associates, will be honoured at the Hugo Boss Stage ... Plus the sizzling moves of the Samba Divas Brazilian dancers. The Rouge Party is sure to be on of the year's hottest events. Open to all lovers of design.

Tickets now on sale - www.interiordesignshow.com


FINALLY, HOW 'NOT' TO STRUT:
(sorry, I couldn't resist ;-)

Anyone who knows me, knows that I am a complete bitch through January, February...hell, most of March. Yes, I suffer from S.A.D. - there, I've admitted it. That being said, I'm usually tanorexic during this 'down' time, as it puts a little extra umph in my STRUT. However, tanning is an art - it takes time to craft....and apparently, Fergie needs some practice...(and a new face).

Step #1: Put down the Neutrogena self-tanning lotion you picked up at Walgreen's for $6.99.

Check out the pic (credit: www.perezhilton.com)



Well, that's a wrap on week one! Special thanks to Amy, Sam and Sachi for the juicy dish this week! Again, feel free to e-mail me your comments or suggestions. Be sure to keep tuning in - more from the streets of NYC next Friday when Amy returns as a special guest correspondent.

Until then...always remember,
"You'll never be as good as me"
Smith

MIMI WAS ROBBED....

As you probably know, a little event that we know as the Grammy's went down at LA's Staple Centre last night - and as you also probably know, I have a few things to say.

First and foremost, anyone who insists on rolling their eyes in light of Madonna's mauve leotard - just stop reading now because you bug me. Its people like you who go on and on about 'how predictable she is' and 'how she really can't sing' and 'how awful her fashion sense is'...and yadda, yadda, yadda. To this, I have two things to say...

1) If you can get your fat ass into a mauve leotard at the age of 47 and look as half as good as she does - I'LL put on the damn leotard.

and...

2) Everyone also has something catty to say about Madge - but the funny thing is, everyone still tunes in to see what she does, to see what she's wearing and to see which one of her back-up dancers she'll dry-hump next. That my friend, is called successful marketing....and when she's managed to do it for over 20 years - the bitch is obviously doing something right.

So there.

If you happened to miss the opening performance last night...check out Madge's new video "Sorry". Pretty much an extended version of "Hung Up" (meaning there's really not much of a storyline) - but the old bag is still working it out - and the tiny Krump dancer KILLS me.

Here's the link:
http://ocko.idnes.cz/multimedia.asp?r=oc_klipy&c=A060207_170317_oc_klipy_kot&m=v
(you might have to copy and paste)

OK - back the Grammy's. All in all, not a total bore (as it has proved to be in year's past).

Here's my take:

Alicia Keys: She must have invested in some ProActiv because the girl's skin was flawless. A definite improvement from that gravel road she called a face when she emerged on the scene a few years back...and I LOVE her speaking voice....the perfect 'rasp'.

Chris Martin: Loved the curly hair. Hated how he almost fell over seven times during the performance....it was a little overdone.

John Legend: WHO? Legend my ass. Each year, it seems that the Grammy's endorse some underdog that no one has ever heard of (or wants to hear for that matter). Los Lonely Boys, The Soggy Bottom Boys, Macy Gray, Steely Dan and Santana come to mind....Mr Legend falls into this category. Mark my words, no one will remember him next year.

Mary J. Blige: The woman terrifies me - but I LOVE her. Granted - she should have foregone the air-brushed orange make-up and the skin-tight satin pants ('cuz the look was NOT cute) - but when she started belting out U2's "ONE", the-bitch-brought-down-the-house!

Jennifer Love Hewitt: How the hell did this happen? I mean, why don't you invite Tori Spelling while you're at it? Nothing nice to say - hair was hideous, dress was hideous. Gross.

Fergie: I've said it once and I'll sait it again, WHAT THE HELL IS TAD HAMILTON THINKING? She must be an absolute minx in the sac because there is no other explanation for them being together. The girl's face looks like chewed caramel.

Paul McCartney: Retire already.

Mark-Kate Olsen: ...or was that Fiona Apple?

Worst Dressed: Jenna Elfman.

Best Dressed: Jay-Z.

Love to Hate: Kanye West.

Kanye's performance was definitely the most entertaining of the night (not that there was much to compete with). The performances just don't seem to compare to the ones that I watched when I was a kid. I remember when I was a kid, I'd tape the Grammy's each year, so I could watch them over and over until I learned all the steps of my fave performers (this, of course, happened in the privacy of my own living room when my mother went to her weekly ceramics class).

That being said, Kanye pulled it off. I can't stand his cockiness, but I'm drawn to it at the same time.

...and last but certainly not least.....

Mimi: Poor Mariah. In my opinion, (and I think my boys will agree) "We Belong Together" was THE song of 2005....and with Mariah being snubbed in the major categories...I think she was robbed! In any case, she made me proud. Her dress was semi-classy, her wind-machine was perfectly set to toss those fab mermaid extensions and her be-dazzled microphone - well, that was the cherry one the cake. Well done.

That's it. Be sure to tune in tomorrow for my debut of "Struttin' With Smith".

Until then - always remember,
"You'll never be as good as me"

THE STELLA AWARDS....

Absolute brilliance.

It's time once again to review the winners of the Annual "Stella Awards." The Stella Awards are named after 81 year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled hot coffee on h erself and successfully sued McDonald's (in NM). That case inspired the Stella awards for the most frivolous, ridiculous, successful lawsuits in the United States.

3rd Place: A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on th e floor because Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.

2nd Place: Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued the owner of a night club in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms.Walton was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.

1st Place: This year's run away winner was Mrs. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Mrs. Grazinski purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On her first trip home, (from an OU football game), having driven onto the freeway, she set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the drivers seat to go into the back &make her self a sandwich. Not surprisingly, the RV left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Mrs.Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising her in the owner's manual that she couldn't actually do this. The jury awarded her $1,750,000 plus a new motor home. The company actually changed their manuals on the basis of this suit, just in case there were any other complete morons around.

THE BEGINNING

I recently took a road trip with three (girl)friends to Blue Mountain - a skiing village a couple hours north of Toronto. I should premise this story by telling you that I have the WORST luck when it comes to travelling. Granted, my bad luck is usually a result of me always being late - but in this case, it was a matter of bad timing for Mother Nature - as it was clearly her time of the month....and we drove directly into her wrath. Anyway, my point is that I was stuck in a car with these girls a lot longer that any one of us had anticipated. Don't take me wrong, I love these bitches to death....but five hours in a Ford Focus could put anyone over the edge. Luckily, I had stashed some mini-Baileys in my parka ;-)

Through this snow-induced booze cruise, I came to the realization that these girls had just as much to say about 'nothing' as I did....and the funny thing is, we were loving every minute of the conversation - so much in fact, that we completely forgot about the driving conditions (this is probably part of the reason we skidded into the ditch and I was forced to push the Focus out in my new Nudie Jeans). But, in retrospect, I was amazed that there were other people who were just as passionate about fashion and celebrities as I was. We all agreed that $600 wasn't too much to pay for a great pair of ass-hugging jeans; we were all shocked at the Locklear and Sambora split (even though they're as about C-list as you can get); we shared our starvation secrets and 'how to lose 13 pounds in seven hours'. It was FANTASTIC.

Then I got to thinking...maybe there are others who are as shallow as us? And that's why I've decided to start this blog. I know, I know - the web is flooded with Hollywood gossip sites; people claiming to tell you what's in and what's out; your basic 'fluff' that a lot of people couldn't give two shi*ts about.

...and I guess that this blog won't be much different. But this time, I'm running the show; I'm calling the shots....

I'm starting a weekly column. A column that will be about absolutely nothing to some...and absolutely EVERYTHING to others. What to, How to, Who to do, Who not to do.....I'll cover it all and each week it will be different. So hopefully, you're ready to strut....to Strut with Smith!

Stay tuned - the first column is coming to you this Friday!

...and always remember, "You'll never be as good as me"
Smith

THIS IS ME...


Well, this is me. And this is my attempt to chronicle my thoughts. If you're looking for insightful remarks on world leadership or advice on the fluctuating markets, this page ain't for you. I'm just a regular guy who has a lot to say about nothing - and by nothing I mean: who's screwing who in Hollywood, tanorexia, NYC, horror movies, bad boob jobs and my secret love for Adrien Brody - just to give you a sense. So, hopefully you will enjoy my 'blog'. The thoughts will be random - the comments will be petty. So, here we go....a little insight to the world in which I live. Enjoy.....