COULD IT BE TRUE?


...for the record, the following entry is merely a humourous attempt to express my sincere frustration with this bloody awful, AWFUL weather. If you are easily offended (...to quote Mr. Hilton), then stop right here. All others, read on!

Paul Edward Smith, an extremely respected member of the STRUTTIN' community - and only son of the 1976 Glencoe Harvest Queen - died today after a very excruciating battle with seasonal affective disorder (SAD). Devilishly handsome, highly intelligent and undeniably fierce, Smith could have attained new levels of 'fabulousness'; but his bouts with winter depression rendered it impossible for him to sustain a normal daily life during the cold Canadian months.

Born in the back seat of a 1969 Camaro - near Glen-hole, Ontario on September 19, 1977 - Paul led a relatively happy, yet fat, childhood. He grew up liking the simple things in life - Tetris, Ketchup Chips and staying up late on Thursday nights to watch Knots Landing with his Mom. After graduating from King's College at the University of Western Ontario in the summer of 2000 - Paul continued his studies and successfully earned his MB-GAY from Humber College, specializing in PR ("Penis Relations").

After working at the Toronto International Film Festival for nearly five years, Smith was most recently employed with the 'Magenta Mafia' - otherwise known as Holt Renfrew. Although he dated and baited almost every gay man in the city of Toronto (....and a few noteworthy straights as well ;-)....Paul was single at the time of his death.

Upon waking up to a roster of snow delays being announced on PROUD 103.9 FM - Paul winced out his apartment window to see a fresh blanket of snow, slush and ice (....not to mention a frozen hooker, stopped dead in her white-plastic-high-heeled tracks on the northwest corner of Jarvis and Gerrard). Unable to stomach the thought of putting on his salt stained Rubber Ducks for yet another cold walk to work....Smith took matters into his own hands.


Paul was found electrocuted late Wednesday morning (March 5, 2008) after he plugged in his home tanning lamp mid-way through his morning shower.

Survived by his mother, Janet Lee; his Chihauhau, Abby; the remaining Golden Girls - Rose, Dorothy and Sophia; and last but not least, his rather impressive shoe collection.

Services will be held at 11:00 P.M. Thursday, March 6, 2008
Woody's - 467 Church Street, Toronto
Officiating, Sofonda
w/ Special Guest - Reverend Downsie Down Unda

(In light of Paul's admiration for a "healthy glow" - he had just completed an unlimited tanning package before his untimely death - this will be an open casket service. He'd want you to see his dark, handsome fay - one last time).

Donations will be accepted in the form of Vodka-sodas at the back bar. Please leave them adjacent to the casket, merely to commemorate the loss of our dear friend, Paul ;-)

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Believe it or not, STRUTTERS....I'M BACK!

Stay tuned for more...we have a LOT of catching up to do!

I've missed you!! And just in case you forgot what I look like - here's a little pic of 'yours truly' from my trip 'across the pond' last Fall....Enjoy!




Until then....always remember -

"...no matter how hard you try....you'll never be as good as me!"

Smith