STRUTTIN' TO THE BEAT OF YOUR OWN DRUM

So, before I jump into this week's column - I first need to divulge my inspiration for this week's 'strut'. Believe me fellow strutters, I am ready to 'WORK-IT-OUT' this weekend! If you know me at all, you KNOW that I'm an incredibly moody bitch through the winter months - partly because I suffer from S.A.D. but more importantly, because I know that I'm destined to marry Josh Duhamel (drop-kicking Fergie's ugly mug in the process) and being whisked away to the Greek Islands - leaving this shitty Canadian winter behind us.

*sigh.

That being said, my social calendar pretty much crashes after New Year's Eve and I usually re-surface on a patio somewhere in the city around mid-May. However, two fabulous friends of mine (who I don't see nearly enough) convinced me to join them for a dinner party last night. (...catch was - the dinner party was being filmed - it was a pilot episode for a new reality show based around the concept of - you guessed it - a dinner party).

I figured the whole concept was a recipe for disaster - no pun intended.

I was obviously hesitant but then, I pictured myself crawling into bed, inevitably eating the left over Haagen-Daaz in the freezer and being sucked into yet another awful episode of the O.C....so I said, "F*ck it, why the hell not....it might be my big break."

Cut to Thursday night - I arrive at the party and stand - somewhat awkwardly - in the kitchen doorway, waiting for the other guests to arrive (little did I know - they were in 'hair and make-up"). When I heard the words, 'hair and make-up', I started to sweat a little.

Why hadn't I been invited to the hair and make-up suite?
Was I not good enough?
Had I met my match with these other "guests"?
Would they out-STRUT me (or at least, attempt to)?

Then, they all breezed in - one right after another. There were 8 guests in total - 7 of which were female and then moi - the token homo. Sure enough, these gals had 'Struttin' potential....each one of them packed perfectly into their Se7en jeans - ready to apply a new layer of lip gloss on a moment's notice. They were armed and I must admit, I was a little frightened. Then, practically in unison, they all asked: "Where are the drinks?"

I'd died and gone to heaven....a room oozing with vanity, designer jeans and bottles of champers....I'd found my oasis. Although I was a bit camera-shy at first, I warmed up to atmosphere and my new fellow strutters. They were "Fierce (slash) Fabulous".

We talked of our alma mater "Western" (is it all beginning to make sense now?)
We talked about our Oscar picks.
We talked about tanorexia.
They talked cosmetics
(Side note: apparently the new CHANEL compact is guarenteed not to break if it's dropped because it was designed with the assistance of NASA engineers). Hmmmm....okay, not sure about that one.
We even talked about boys - new prospects, old flames.

Hell, we even came to conclusion that a couple of their ex-bfs have purchased a one-way ticket to Brokeback Mountain....not that I could confirm that or anything ;-)

It's a small social circle in which we stut, bitches. Very small indeed.

All in all, a fantastic night! I stumbled home feeling refreshed and happy to welcome my new friends onto the catwalk. And thanks to them, I've taken Swiss Chalet off my speed dial and I'm ready to paint the town pink! Have a fantastic weekend....Enjoy!

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With Oscars only two weeks away and all of my recent conversations regarding "Brokeback", I thought I'd include David Letterman's TOP TEN list spewed out earlier this week - just in case you missed it.

Top 10 Signs You're a Gay Cowboy:

10. "Your saddle is Versace"
9. "Instead of 'Home On The Range', you sing 'It's Raining Men'"
8. "You enjoy ridin', ropin', and redecoratin'"
7. "Sold your livestock to buy tickets to 'Mamma Mia'"
6. "After watching reruns of 'Gunsmoke', you have to take a cold shower"
5. "Native Americans refer to you as 'Dances With Men'"
4. "You've been lassoed more times than most steers"
3. "You're wearing chaps, yet your 'ranch' is in Chelsea"
2. "Instead of a saloon you prefer a salon"
1. "You love riding, but you don't have a horse"

STRUTTIN' 101

WHAT TO TV: The Amazing Race
(the 9th edition - no families - 5 continents)
February 28th -- CTV -- 9pm
http://www.cbs.com/primetime/amazing_race9/

WHAT TO DVD: Beautiful Girls
Celebrating it's 10th anniversary - definitely one to own.
Cast - Matt Dillon, Uma Thurman, Timothy Hutton, Rosie O'Donnell, Lauren Holly plus many other juicy b-list celebs - except for a young, magnificent Natalie Portman...I adore her!

WHAT TO MOVIE: TSOTSI (premiered at the 2005 Toronto International Film Festival - now nominated for an Oscar in the Best Foreign Film Category - opens February 24th)
http://movies.aol.com/movie/main.adp?mid=23764

WHAT TO DRINK: Caramel Apple Martini

WHAT'S ON M(i)POD: Be Without You (White Label Mix) - Mary J. Blige

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For the ladies (SPECIAL EDITION)

WHAT TO HAIR: It's all about the Pony Tail (positioned high and a 'lil messy)

WHAT TO SHOE: Treetorns

WHAT TO WEAR: Pencil-leg jeans ("super-skinny, super-tapered"....overheard at Olympus Fashion Week in NYC)

WHAT 'NOT' TO WEAR: Olympic Gear - it's just wrong

WHAT TO BAG: Betsey Johnson "Good Girl" Hobo (in Chocolate Brown)
http://store.nordstrom.com/product/product.asp?styleid=2874491&refsid=131244&refcat=2376779~2376804~2384445~2385025&SourceID=&slotid=1&origin=related-boutique

WHAT TO SEE: Nicole Ritchie for Jimmy Choo (I know they're dated - but I cant get enough)
http://www.jimmychoo.com/index_flash.html

SECRET WEAPON: Body Shop Coconut Lip Balm

WHERE TO "BROWS": Do your eyebrows look like this?
(click here: http://i2.tv2.dk/images/s/a090d0e4e9814f9c817dcc6ebff67787/618056.jpeg)

If you hesitated, get your ass to Salon Daniel in the Soho Met Hotel. Ask for Narges - she's the best esthician in the city.

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"DIRTY DISH-ES"

• Looks like Kiki (aka Kirsten 'Drunkst') is continuing to eat her way through Hollywood's list of hot and eligible actors. Rumour has it she's now linked with WALK THE LINE's Joaquin Phoenix. Shame...a god-damn shame, I say.
• Lisa Marie Presley got hitched for the 4th time (leaked today that she married some guitar-playing hack from her band back in January). Good luck with that.
• Rachel McAdams walked off the set of the photo shoot for the cover of Vanity Fair featuring Tom Ford, Scarlett Jo and Kiera Knightley (which was mentioned in last week's column) after refusing to show some TNA for the spread.
• The Olsen twins are the new "faces" for the Badgley Mischka's 2006 fall line
• My absolute favourite show - Grey's Anatomy - is losing a main character at the end of this season...stayed tuned to find out who??

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CHECK IT OUT

Sofia Coppola's long-awaited follow-up to LOST IN TRANSLATION is MARIE ANTOINETTE. Check out the trailer - it's set against New Order's track "The Age of Consent" - brilliance - the only downfall is that it stars Kirsten "Drunkst"
http://movies.aol.com/movie_exclusive_marie_antoinette_trailer

I'm obsessed with Parker Posey. We need to see more of her. My favourite Posey line:
"Wipe that face off your head, bitch!" - DAZED AND CONFUSED
Check her out in the new Pepsi ad with Jimmy Fallon.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2YM0f3rEihw

"FLAVA OF THE WEEK" - Paul Walker
Check him out on the cover of TORO Magazine - being this hot should be illegal....
www.toromagazine.ca

BREAKING NEWS: Oprah's REAL Interview with Tom Cruise
http://bestweekever.blogs.com/best_week_ever_blog/2006/02/tom_cruise_on_o.html

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HUGE B-Day 'Shout-Outs' to my girls MADGE and JODY! Looking forward to Saturday....I've been practicing my dance moves so you better watch yourself!

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WUZ' HAPPENING

*the 28th Rhubarb! Festival
Canada's Premiere New Works Festival. Shows, Events, Panels & Parties. The 28th Rhubarb! Festival is a 'meeting of the minds' served up to nourish artists and audience members alike. We hope to inspire with our full-to-brimming line-up of approximately two dozen new works, Toronto's first-ever Performance Creation Canada Conference, outrageous special events, hot opening nights, and an expanded Indie Theatre & Dance Trade Forum. Rhubarb was first produced by Buddies in 1979, and is the country's oldest new works fest. Rhubarb is more than a festival; it is a commentary on theatre - on how we create it, on how we present it, and on how we experience it. Here we allow the artist and the idea to be the centre of attention. Here the artist is left alone on an empty stage facing a curious and hungry audience. The trappings of traditional theatre are purged in favour of a stripped-down approach, where inspiration and invention are genesis. Feb 2 - Feb 19 @ 8pm. Evening Passes $15, Week Passes $20, Festival Passes $40, Late Night Events $5Buddies In Bad Times www.snap-toronto.com

* bloor yorkville sante
the bloor yorkville wine festival
may 2nd-7th

* fashion cares -- 20th anniversary
june 3rd -- metro toronto convention centre, south building, 222 bremner road -- 530pm-4am
www.fashioncares.com

Until next week bitches....
...always remember....
"No matter how hard you try -you'll never be as good as me"
Smith